relish in the adorable-ness of piglets.

this summer has been the best in recent memory. this is in no small part due to the fact that i have not had to work or worry about money. i finally feel like a responsible adult. that's right... i actually SAVED enough money to take these 2 months off.

it's even been a bit more comfortable this summer. it's hot, for sure, but when temperatures typically soar above 100... i'll gladly tolerate a day that peaks at 90 degrees. seriously, at these temperatures, even a decrease of a couple degrees is welcome.

not having to work has meant more time for ME. i've entertained all my creative whims this summer. i cannot control the crafting. it's out of hand. i've embroidered panels of pretty, naked mermaids for my bathroom, i've made dozens of pairs of earrings, i've altered old clothes to make them "new," and i've returned to using my ancient pentax in favor of my digital canon. i've felt so gloriously productive!

so, to offset the productivity, i've also allowed myself to watch far too many DVDs. the x-files, buffy, flight of the conchords...
but i've been reading, too. so don't judge me.

having all this time for myself... time to be alone, time to reconnect with friends, time to read and think and create, time to try new things (i went fucking camping! twice! i saw BEARS!)... it's been so amazing. i can't say i want to return to work, but i can definitely say "i'm ready." everyone should be fortunate enough to take this much time off from their responsibilities. i am totally aware of how lucky i've been this summer.

it's early, so i'm gonna squeeze in one last nap.

failing to post here anymore is largely due to the fact that i have a new job and am, once again, a full-time student. both of which are going tremendously well...thanks for asking.

but tonite finds me in need of a tool to enable procrastination. i've already made some jewelry, run to target, written a handful of unnecessary emails, and i'm about to make myself an english muffin... what's left?

not much.

i imagine it's in my best interest to buckle down, grind out my paper and await my marks... but i'm feeling incredibly fatigued. every friday (friday! where's the justice? fridays used to be my drinkin' day!) i've got proposals due - two. and on most fridays i've usually got some paper or project to submit in addition to those proposals. i'm just kind of sick-to-my-stomach over it today.

but it isn't all crazy-making... there's beautiful flowers growing on my patio and kelly's band is playing tonite (i can attend if i finish that cursed paper!). and my insane neighbor got herself a cat, so now she can stop ratting me out to the landlord. i also made a real adult purchase... patio furniture! but being as ghostly pale as i am, it's only used after sunset.

sadly, that is all.

i'm gonna go eat an english muffin now.

my little guy. i hate to swoon, but look at that face?

things aren't bad.
things are busy.

and i don't care what your co-workers say, stay away from flu shots.

i'm gonna send good vibes out into the universe and say that this tuesday will be THEE day that fufkin achieves recovery. he makes me cry. he's so sad and uncomfortable.

i really just can't accept that tuesday could be anything less than a celebration of his final bandage removal.

i hope...

i suggest you spend them watching this.

i was gone most of friday. meeting in the a.m., visiting with grandma in the afternoon, and home for 20 minutes before taking off to a friend's birthday dinner. i didn't get home 'til about midnite... and when i opened the front door i was met with a very disturbing sight.

my poor chinchilla appeared to be dead.

it was hanging by its ankle from one of the many "safe" ladders i have set up in its enormous cage.

when i opened the front door i screamed and the poor little guy started wriggling. i got the ladder free as quickly as i could and after some fussing with his long hind leg and the 1/2 inch openings between ladder rungs, i got him free (turns out he's a boy, not that it really matters...). he immediately fell asleep in my hands, obviously exhausted by hanging upside down and trying to gnaw through his own foot to get free. i thought maybe he was going into shock or that his leg was broken, so i found a 24 hour vet that would handle small animals and i got in my car and made the 30 minute drive out to diamond bar. $200 and 90 minutes later i had fufkin back home. which is interesting, cos when my brother got hit my a car 2 weeks ago, his emergency room visit was markedly longer... but i digress.

so fufkin is not 100% better. we spent that night on the sofa together and rita (my cat) even seemed sympathetic enough to fufkin's condition that she put her hunting instincts aside for the night. i'm still quite worried about him, but he's ok i think... not eating much except sweets, which i know are very bad for him, but i just want to make sure he's eating something and raisins seem to be all he'll consume right now.

this is just the latest in what seems to be a roller coaster of a month. but it's been more than a month. a season? i don't know... i hope this madness doesn't last all spring. there has been good news to temper the rough spots, but that's kinda what's making it so strange. massive highs and lows.

i spend 6 weeks in testing and diagnosis for possible malignancy...
dad graduates from the first ever doctoral program at Loyola Marymount University.

my brother gets hit by a suburban as he's skating down the street...
i finally get news that i'm ok and that all tests show only benign cell growth (and, thank god, my brother is only suffering from an ugly case of road rash).

my stepmom gets hospitalized (for the 3rd time) with a staph infection...
my chinchilla gets injured and costs me money i don't have and causes me stress i cannot endure...
i still don't have a job lined up for summer and/or beyond...
i haven't heard back about grad school...
but one of my outstanding debts has been eliminated (thanks to my generous grandma) and my sister and i are finally speaking again.

i'm hoping there will be some more evening-out on the positive end of things.

until then, there is always comic relief.

my brother is ok... but he got hit by a car last nite.

i'm going in for surgery today and i am scared, though not nearly as petrified as i thought i would be.

i'm telling my sister to watch her back. we're only 3 siblings and she's the only one who has yet to be a patient this week.

my poor mom is a nervous wreck.

a chinchilla.
everyone needs one.

you just can't be sad with one, i promise.

fluffy cuteness!
eek!!

but it isn't ALL bad.

transcripts have not arrived at my home yet.
graduate application delivery status: unconfirmed.
i got a new student today and i don't have a desk or a chair for her and there's only 7 weeks left in the school year.

at least i got my tax refund AND my security deposit back. financial woes are temporarily alleviated.
and i did put new blinds and curtains up in my entire (little) apartment. a total of 9 windows and a little over $200 and it feels like i'm living in a palace! pictures may come later... when i ain't so damn lazy.

today i finished reading three to see the king and am left feeling simultaneously distressed about how disappointing humanity is and relieved that there's always some comfort in being (mostly) alone. or at least separate from the mindless masses.

i finished a small boat-load of new jewelry pieces this weekend but i simply can't find the energy to prettily package it all and post it in my etsy shop. i think that'll be a task best left for this weekend, as i've got another doctor's appointment this week and the anxiety of that is preventing me from being very productive. excuses. i'm full of 'em.

i'm home from SF.
not a lot to say about it right now, as i'm very headachey and still tired (i'm beginning to think i may have chronic fatigue syndrome).
heading out to san diego tomorrow in an effort to get every hour out of my spring break.
i'm finishing my grad school applications and getting ready to see yet another doctor about another ailment.
hitting 30 has been rough. my body is turning on me. so is my mind, i fear.

only 4 months to 31. maybe i'll start easing into my 30s and abandon this idea that i have to be either "old" or "young."

my new doctor told me i should have a baby. soon.

i want my old doctor back.

oh... and my new, brightly colored apartment, is actually my old apartment. well, 2 doors down (in the same unit) as my old apartment. it's the exact same layout and actually kinda eerie.

hmmm... not sure what to think about this.

i haven't read a whole lot about it, but i know that it may be setting quite a troubling precedent.

1. no meat
2. fewer "things"
3. back to school
4. new job
5. less rage
6. new place to call home

NOT resolutions, i don't make resolutions. these are promises and predictions.
it'll be a good year.

ok, not really. but it felt like it. what with the rain and the pile of "stuff" throughout the house begging to be packed and/or organized. so i post for the third time today in an effort to avoid said "stuff." i'd say my plan is working famously.

other things i've done today to avoid doing important "stuff":
* gave myself a manicure with a hand mask, sugar scrub and all...
* took a 90 minute bath (but that was kind of productive. i read)
* made asparagus risotto (yum. tomorrow the leftovers will double as risotto al salto or arancini di riso. some things are even better the second day...)
* filled another etsy order (yay!)
* played on flickr for like, 3 hours
* watched two episodes of "good eats"

i am now off to try and salvage what is left of the day by putting together some late (but totally rockin' and handmade) christmas gifts for my dear friends.

so after plenty of drinks last nite i woke up at 5 am with the fmailiar throbbing over my eye and the dizzy, nauseous sensation that always accompanies my headaches. the makings of a migraine, which also means another lost day. as i have said before, when i get a migraine i lose at least 12 hours of productivity... if not more. sometimes i'm laid out for two days. the first day spent utterly absorded by pain and panic (thanks doctor for telling me i'm a prime candidate for a stroke!) and the second day spent in a hollow recovery eating soup and watching bbc america.

so i do what i can to avoid the onset of one. i preememptively medicate myself (which my acupuncturist said is damaging my liver and kidneys, yay!) and i avoid food and drink high in certain preservatives. no red wine, no light beer, no hotdogs or smoked sausages (not a problem, really). i've identified my personal dietary triggers and i steer clear, mostly.

so last nite the beverage of choice was tequila. i don't know that i've ever gotten a migraine from tequila, but i couldn't exactly argue with my swolen blood vessels. "guys! relax, it was just tequila! we LIKE tequila!" not last nite apparently. so at 5 am i reach across to my bedside bookcase and pop open my excedrin migraine. then i stumble 'round my unlit bedroom looking for water before i give in and just swallow 'em dry. laziness or desperation? you decide.

then a lightbulb goes off in a cartoon-y thought bubble above my head. i remember that i have this stress relief lotion that rachel gave me from origins, all loaded with eucalyptus and menthol. and i think, might this be good for pain? the instructions do say to "apply to temples for stress relief." and the major cause of migraines is indeed stress... why not, i decide. i pump the little applicator 2 times, smear the cool lotion above and around my left eye and let the "stress relief" happen, unimpeded. and what do you know! an hour later, no migraine!

this stuff is brilliant.

who knew? sneezing a sign from the gods?
i must be seriously blessed. i'm sneezing so constantly that my eyes are in semi-permanent preparation... all squinty and whatnot.